Welcome to voraciousbunnies.com

Welcome to voraciousbunnies.com! I don’t know why you’re here.

VB was originally developed in August of 2001 when intrepid computer nerd Alex designed it, I wrote for it, and Craig drew a bunny (at the top) for it. We all got bored of the site in the next minute or so, but not before posting funny bullshit from Todd and Mr. W. and Doctor Wu and Nasty Nate. And by “funny bullshit,” I mean things that we thought were funny eight years ago but are mostly terrible in retrospect.

Out of some odd sense of nostalgia, I decided it would be a great idea to recreate voraciousbunnies.com. Probably the smartest aspect of this plan was the decision to reuse the eight year old site design.

I don’t really know what you’ll end up seeing here, exactly. I’ll be updating, and so will Craig, and maybe I’ll prod Alex into doing something. Others are welcome to contribute.

Periodically, I’ll post some random humorous moments from the old site. This heavily edited process is designed to give you a false impression regarding the quality of the site’s past incarnation. Here are some to get started:

8/13/01::alex

Today marks the beginning of voraciousbunnies.com. The site starts off with a humble beginning at Angelfire.com, but soon shall aspire to greater heights. So far, we’ve just been thinking of possible subsections. Good day.

Armed with my 9th-grade infinite knowledge of Microsoft Word, I decided to create a video game. The synopsis is below; it really isn’t funny, but unlike most of this trash, it kind of reminds me of my present sense of humor. I remember that I thought it would be funny if the game’s storyboard was something like, 10 minutes of introductory text, some dialogue, and then you start out in a room, and you enter the next room, and then you win.

8/31/01::adam – SOLAR: The Burning Ball of Fire Story

The year is 2098. The Earth is an unkind place to humans and animals alike. Wars plague the planet, and giant machines called “Robots” have claimed the planet for their own. These “Robots” have forced the human race into slavery, and kill any who stand in their way. You are Jonnas, a young son of a dust miner in the Sahara Desert. You must lead a mismatched group against the Robotic Empire, to achieve freedom against the metal monsters. The Sun is the key.

I also reviewed the hit shareware game “Olive Wars,” a vegetable warfare simulator. I removed the part where I compared my computer hard drive crashing to 9/11.

9/18/01::adam – Game Review::Olive Wars

Have you ever just wanted to throw broccoli into the sky and squeeze an olive so that the red thing shoots out and hits the broccoli as it flies past in the air? Well say no more.

Haha, “Well say no more” is such a terrible sentence. What is supposedly being said? Maybe I just had a terrible concept of quotation marks and meant “Well say ‘no more!’”

My review is pretty scathing:

Now, if you haven’t played “Olive Wars” before, I would like to extend to you an invitation to run away from this beast as far as you can….

You try to shoot the healthy snacks out of the sky, and try to avoid them on their way down. Fearsome. There are several supporting characters, including but not excluding:

• Mushrooms
• Broccoli
• Corn
• EVIL CORN
• White ball things
• Red ball things with a yellow border that gives you another red thing for you to shoot! Vegetable ammo!
• Some other renegade foods.

While this game is not meant for vegetarians or fans of the hit show “Veggie Tales”, it is a HUGE WASTE OF TIME. DON’T PLAY THIS GAME!! PLEASE!!

But if you must, the “40 Games for Windows” disc is available at your local Wal-Mart for about $10. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Olive Wars Action Shot

This takes us through September. I’ll definitely share more in the future, because this really only scratches the surface (upcoming highlights include a certain drawing with the filename “dalesend.png” and updates from our friends Todd and Mr. W.). If, for some reason, you want to email me, I have a fancy new email address: adam@voraciousbunnies.com.