Fractured Fanfiction: Mr. House MD

*mr. house sit in an office, bounce a ball, bounce a ball, bounce bounce the ball is full of water and air and the blood of a martian, the ball hit the glass wall and float away out the window, lost in the clouds of the sky, a twinkle and it becomes a star in the night

mr. house: gruff i hate this repetitive occurrence.

*lady doctor cutty walk upon the office. ld. cutty wear a lady suit with a skirt and a bulbous buttix.

mr. house: you have a big buttix ld. cutty, I want to squeeze upon it

ld. cutty: mr. house I have a patience you must see

mr. house (scoffing like a horse, who whinnies at the mosquito which heretofore affixed itself upon its leg): NO NO NO NO NO

ld. cutty: he has a peenis on his brain

mr. house: it is blagners-weiners syndrome, of course, fetch me my ball (mr. house points his cane at the open window and motions it in the approximation of a mango’s shape)

ld. cutty: he also has a bloud clot in his air ventricle

mr. house: (looks with eyes out of nowhere in particular, in space perhaps a dimension unseen, who knows what this man sees when looks that way, sometime he stare at a plate, sometimes at a wall, always he pull out the answer from a trick in his mind) interesting… (eat a pill)

***

*house and Wilson eat a food in hospitle cafeteria, they sit by the table*

mr. house: Wilson I am going to eat your treats

Wilson: House Please Don’t Eat That

mr. house: i licking the bag of chips

Wilson: Ugh House Go Right Ahead You Have Ruined My Appetite

mr. house: (smirks, a jackal in the wild, a true fiend and scoundrel) i have a patience he has a weiner on his brain and a bloud clot in his air ventricle, we already check the pressure gauge and the lion’s bone, my team runs a test, but I do not care for his safety or well being

Wilson: House You Do Care You Are Just Afraid To Admit It

mr. house: fat chance do you want to see a monster cars crushing event

Wilson: Yes Do You Have A Ticket

mr. house: yes … for your eggs salad sandwitch (eat a pill)

***

*mr. house eating a pill and walking down the hall way; he limp upon his cane, which is know as The Cane of Ages. other doctors walk around him and ask him questions about the patience

doctor eric foreman: house we need to discover what clots the air ventricles, and fast

mr. house: you black, it is drugs, you know about this drugs because you black and black ones sell drugs and smoke them

number thirty ten: no it not drugs we look in his home, toxx screen neg., could it be hinklesons-porters disease

mr. house: you are a bisex, you like to lay with both men and women, you are wrong because the patence is lies, you say hinklesons-porters only because you are facing your own grim death and also enjoy both sets of human genitalia.

tolb: no you are wrong god damn the toxx is neg. but it’s not hinklesons-porters because he can still see out of the eye in his left socket, the answer is that he simply breathed too much water morans

mr. house: you cheating jew go away god you are a dumb baby (eat a pill)

kumar: what if the toxx tester was a false neg.???????

mr. house: that is correct haji

chase and allison: hello we are walking alongside in the background.

***

mr. house: why is this patience dyeing!!!!!

Wilson: Maybe You Actually Do Care About This Patience, Please Admit So Accordingly

*mr. house get a look in his eye, he travels away into another land, far away in his own brains, he eat a pill and look at a plant for one min., then hobble away hurriedly as might a stilted flamingo

***

*mr. house enter into a surgery-room, he enjoys no protection against the demons lying within the patiences’s open flesh.

mr. house: do not remove this man weiner brain

surgon: however, we must remove his peenus from his brain, because he is here and i know not what to accomplish otherwise

mr. house: shut up you dumb man, he is on drugs the whole time, watch this

*house take a markur and write on the patience forehead, he write “i have a weiner in my brain, please do not remove” atop this slate of flesh. slowly the marker fades into the flesh, it bubbles and glows, tiny black bubbles as occurs naturally in a pit of tar, and slowly it forms a black circle, a portal to hades, upon which a weiner appears; house sprinkles a small amount of water upon the head weiner, and it dissolve into a small pile of dust. mr. house gather weiner dust and place it within the patience’s mouth, the curative dust pours through the body’s stream of bloud, and the curative powers within are unleashed. thus, the man, cured of all past and future disease and wound, open his eyes and sit upright on the table, ready to begin anew an immortal life filled with adventure and mystery and intrigue, forever healthy, forever strong, escaping the slow crawl of time’s sands*

mr. house: haha you eat you own weiner (eat a pill)

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